Six Weird Spells for Old-School Wizards
Inspired by Luke's Grand Grimoire Campaign and the following blogs:
Six Weird Spells for Old-School Wizards
I’ve been thinking about weird low-level spells.
Here are a few. Most of these have a stipulation you must first accomplish before unlocking the spell for recording in your spellbook.
The Eye of Akrydos: In order to cast this spell, the spellcaster must first pluck out their own eye with a dagger made from the bones of a thief. They must then take their eye and set it on fire beneath a blazing desert sun. Once it has turned to ash and blown away in the wind, a red swirling mist will issue from the caster’s empty socket. Now, at will, 1 infernal locust per caster level will crawl from the socket. The caster may command the locust and see through its eyes for 1d4 hours per caster level. Above level 4, the caster must save versus Spells or a torrent of locusts pours forth from their socket, devouring plant life and attacking anything in sight.
The Gerundian Technique: In order to cast this spell, the spellcaster must bind themselves hand and foot in rope soaked in holy water for four days. During this time they must fast from food and water. On the fifth day, a white dove must be killed and drained into their mouth. Once the dove has been fully drained of blood, and the ropes fully untied, the caster will find that their limbs are unusually flexible. When cast, this spell allows the caster to flatten themselves to a centimeter’s thickness for 1d4 hours per caster level. During this time, they can be rolled up, folded, and otherwise manipulated without being harmed. When thrown from a height, they act as if under the effects of Featherfall. Every time this is cast, there is a 2% chance that the effects become permanent.
Karambo's Tourniquet: In order to cast this spell, the spellcaster must kill a human man dying of leprosy. Once dead, the man’s hamstrings must be removed and tied into a bowline knot. This knot should then be fed to a three-legged dog. When the dog next pisses, dig up the dirt and you will find a length of copper wire. Once ingested, the spell may be cast. Any friendly creatures up to the caster’s level in HD, rounded down, cannot be killed even when brought to 0 HP, for 1d4 turns. During this time, however, they may be turned as undead. Once the spell ends, if the creatures brought to zero have not been magically healed, they will die as normal.
Crust of Wryne: In order to cast this spell, the spellcaster must dig up the grave of a wrongly convicted criminal. Using the mud from the grave, they must make a plaster cast of their own face. This must be worn in order to cast the spell. Once cast, a green, sandy liquid begins to ooze painfully from the caster’s pores. For 1d4 turns per caster level, they no longer need to breathe and their AC is as chainmail. At caster level 5 and above, the user must save versus Paralysis or become petrified. If the caster is attacked in melee while wearing the grave mask but without having cast the spell, there is a 2% chance the mask is ruined.
Saint's Tongue: In order to cast this spell, the spellcaster must cut out the tongue of an eloquent priest and swallow it whole. Once per caster level, the spellcaster may force Morale checks at disadvantage on opposite aligned creatures equal to 2 x the caster’s level in HD. If the creatures fail, their alignment is shifted to the caster’s alignment for 1d4 turns per caster level. If a majority of the creatures pass the check, the caster is Silenced for the length of the spell.
Spindle's Arrow: In order to cast this spell, the spellcaster must pierce his hands with a black iron spike and pack the wounds with a mixture of cow dung, dried foxglove, and thyme, wrapping the poultice in strips of bleached linen taken from a freshly wrapped corpse. Save versus Poison, on a failure, contract sepsis. If the spellcaster saves or survives, they may fire 1d4 poisoned arrows from their hands per caster level. Anyone struck by an arrow can be located by the caster with perfect accuracy for 1d4 days.